Brokeback Sherpa

Kaji Sherpa, and Buddhi the porter display platonic relations on the mountain in the sun.

Well.14 days of back to back treking.....That was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have never been so tired in all my life....or smelt as bad....or looked worse....or wanted to eat a yak more.
I could break it down for you exciting 8 hours of walking ( sorry dragging up my weary carcass) day by day. But in my head its just one giant blur...It took us 10 days to get up to base camp, fighting altitude the whole way and only 4 days down which gives you a slight indication of how steep that is. The thin air makes each step so hard as each breath is a fraction of the air you need. You lose you appetite, and your head aches and in the case of Angus Walker you get so damm sunburned you spend most of the trip looking like a crude Halloween devil. On a positive note the fact that most of his nose therefore came off with intense peeling seems to have put the nose rash on the run. Ah the good with the bad.
Kaji Sherpa our guide and Bohddi our porter were awesome! Two super fit guys who patiently waited for us to crawl to the top all the while actually finding endless yak puns funny (the pinnacle of these being "the highest Yak-olade that a Yak-tor can Yak-cept is a Yak-cadamy Award." or the Yak roll call as the trains of yaks squeezed by us on a high mountain trail " Yak Black, Michael Yakson, Yakie Onnassis, Old Yak Donald etc..." Yeah I know hilarious but with a lack of oxygen you'd be surprised just how deeply amusing....oh how we laughed.
The not washing situation was a particularly special one. I was actually a little too comfortable to start with the fact that i hadn't changed my clothes until Angus revealed that he wasn't even changing his undies! Then I felt like a real cope out! I may have looked like a feral yeti woman on the outside but my underwear was persil fresh! I even washed my clothes at one point at a spring chunky with ice. I couldn't feel my hands it was so cold all the while muttering "why am i even bothering, stupid Ang-wa not even changing his rank undies,who smells?huh?, dumb facial rash that's who" (as a side note my hands got so cold i panicked over potential frostbite never play the violin again senarios and huddled by the smoky kitchen fire to save my maestro hands....Meanwhile outside.....A freakin Yak ate my soap. Bastard. much amusement to the locals as I chased it around yelling "You ate my soap you yak-en Yak?!?!")
Anyway.....We were trekking with a English couple from Lancaster who were both good sorts. Left us in the dust though. Many theories were postulated over the likelihood of Sarah actually being a Yak-woman...hmmmm. She cheerily ate enough for the four of us, practically ran up the mountain and suffered not from the perils of altitude sickness. Not only that but at the very top at Base Camp managed to get the altitude and cold delirious John to propose marriage which she promptly accepted! Sneaky brits! (side note 2#: I tried also but Angus just thought i was talking to a yak. I was very tired. I may have been.)
Kaji our guide was a sherpa legend! He weighs 60 kilos (kaji says "some times I'm fat. I weight maybe 63 kilo") and is a true man of the mountain. With a wicked sense of humor he would laugh every time we rolled out the same old running jokes about being haunted by momos (meat filled dumplings) and yak marriage and me not giving up my bag despite being asked a million times a day! (side note #3 I, Jim Stanton Carried my own pack all the way and back!!!!!i'm stoked!!!and maybe a wee bit insane! Considering it costs NZ$9.50 per day not to. BUT I DID NOT CRUMBLE! Sight beyond sight! I of Jim-deera! I am JIM hear me roar!.....etc etc etc)
OK yeah Kaji was like a alpine Pat Morana with Buddhist wisdom issuing forth from his wind chapped lips "Maybe Jim-didi when trek over you be fit and not so fat anymore" yes well and Yetis are real. He and Bohddi our porter both laughed their way over the mountain trails as we struggled to keep them in sight. They seemed to have a great time. In fact at times we seemed to be encroaching into their romantic getaway. Nepali Men are very touchy feely with each other.Very. and so we will just put it all down to just Nepali friendly touching....and bunk sharing and on one memorable cinema-esqe running giggling over the hills hand in hand . So Brokeback Sherpa right now!
Right at the top on the last day at high altitude I got up at 5am in the dark and attempted Kala Patter the peak above base camp where the best views of Everest at dawn can be seen. It was harder mental battle with myself than the time when i ran out of cheese and wanted to steal some of Jareds from the fridge. I didn't want to Jared. I have an addiction. I fought myself the whole way up. Half way burst into tears. Quickly stopped when i realized such weakness was making my eyes freeze (yes really) and after 2 and a half hours of slogging up through the snow I made it. It was so quiet apart from the farts and belches of a Belgian photographer (note: don't order the spicy noodles at Gorak Shep), around the summit was an unbroken line of Everest and its attendant peaks. I could wail on about being humbled and feeling tiny and insignificant yada yada but it was so cold i thought my bum was frozen. I know cynical as always. I was all those things but in quick succession, followed but speedy photos ,a small pause broken by yet more European wind (woah buddy take a tums) and then down again. Low on energy but high on.....no not life but MASSIVE EGO!!! My first words to Angus may have been " IN YOUR FACE RASHY. I"M AWESOME!!!"

Anyway as I said the descent was quick and our recovery quicker.Nothing signals back to normal for two young Kiwis than a hearty meal of mashed potato and Yak steak. We flew out of Lukla early in the morning happy to be heading towards the big city, fresh clothes,warm weather and good food.......Suckers!!!! We flew into a city on lock down...and not on the good cruising round with the top down way. The entire city of Kathmandu is closed from 10am till 6pm then again from 11pm till 5am.Soilders question any local out at these times. Imagine Wellington with no one at work, no cars and house arrest. BORING. and sinister. Across the city away from us are lage demonstrations with wounded on both sides. Three shot in a near by demonstration yesterday. As westeners we are safe, the area we are in is secure and we can go where we please. The curfew means narrow windows of snack buying and money changingand long streches of sitting in our hotel room and eating pringles. Also my clean clothes and shampoos and crap were safely locked up, real safe where even i couldn't get them till the next day. Its all very well to trek and smell in the freezing cold but sitting in a bar with a fresh clean Angus who is loving each opportunity to wrinkle his rash free nose and say "Man did i smell like that" and "Whoa You stink" (ever the smooth operator is Angus Walker). So its no surprise that my good friend kharma is on his case and has given his a intensive bout of food poisoning. Poor guy. Currently sleeping after a night of the loudest vomiting i have ever heard (and i have heard some of the greats ie Ben Hurley) he has suffered since we arrived, more so due to the fact i have been 100% fine. Headlines read "Toilet paper sales are on the rise thanks to Kiwi input"...or maybe output.
Well i should be off to wander again. The streets are empty save for jeeps of soldiers and the odd lost looking taxi. Its slightly disconcerting to be strolling down a crooked potholed back street, bogenvillia up the wall and a warm dog sleeping in the gutter only to be stopped by.....Oh look a machine gun mounted jeep full of rifle touting soldiers. How quaint. Nepali charm at its best

(side note #4: i have been on the net for 2hours 35 minutes at the cost of 75 rupees...thats NZ$1.15)